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Mango, peach and blueberry crumble and in defense of my single friends

Purple rain © Cookaroo
Last night, a friend asked me something that has been on my mind ever since. The question was simple, why do I have so many single friends and why don't I have problems hanging with them? What she meant really was, don't you feel a certain responsibility after you get married, that you need to be with HIM rather than your friends who are out their living vicariously.

It's been weighing me down. And I think that's because two questions have been jarring me  - one, that just because YOU get married, are you are expected to make changes which include falling out with single friends coz they aren't? And two, are you supposed to suddenly only hang with the husband or other couples?

The truth is, I have parent friends, I have couple friends, I have divorced friends and I have single friends. And I (hope, atleast) don't think, I treat them any different. Are my conversations any different with each of these? Yes, perhaps. I have no problem being indulgent to their children, or listening to them bickering, or listening to the ex-bashing, or the new escapades that any/all/ some are going through. I feel involved. Loved that they don't find it hard to tell me this. And connected.

So would I judge my single friends? No I don't think so. I'd cherish them. Would I judge my I-don't-want-children friends, no I'd respect them. Would I judge my divorced friends? Absolutely not, I'd find them absolutely courageous. Fact is, I was and am a part of their lives and unless they think they have nothing in common with me, why should any of these friends take a backseat. 

And that brings me to the original question and no, I could never stop hanging with them and let's be honest, sometimes I do feel a little "married" but that's only because I know and I want to go back and eat a meal or watch TV with the husband. So many times when I'm out with my single friends, I almost always get a take-away for the husband (that's married behaviour isn't it?) and  they'll patiently wait while I order.

Here's the thing, for what it's worth, marriage can hardly be an imposition. It never has to be a friend vs husband vs couple friend. It should really mean, friend = husband = friends of all kinds. There shouldn't be an either or.

So here's a recipe that my single friend gave me who I fed to, two other single friends a couple of nights ago at home. We didn't end up eating it as dessert, but it was perfect for breakfast too.

Crumble Rumble © Cookaroo

Mango Peach and Blueberry Crumble
Serves 4

2 ripe mangoes
3 ripe peaches
50 gms blueberry
Zest of one lemon
Juice of half a lemon
1 tblsp vanilla sugar
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup oats
1/2 cup brown sugar
50 grams butter
1 tsp cinnamon


1. Cube mangoes, peaches and bung in the blueberries into a bowl. Stir in vanilla sugar, lemon juice and lemon zest. Set aside.

2. In a bowl, add brown sugar, oats, flour and cinnamon. Add butter to it and use your finger tips to break the mix down into coarse-looking breadcrumbs.

3. Pat down the oats mixture on top of the mangoes. Bake at 200 degrees for 25 minutes of until tops are brown. Serve warm or cold, with whipped cream and ice cream.

Single serve for single friends © Cookaroo

Sending this to Patty's Weekly Story at Colours Dekor, which I have come to luurrrve.

Post a Comment


  1. Your conversations are bound to be different with your friends in their different stages. To restrict yourself to just married friends would, for you, i think, be out of the question. I think it's great you can juggle all the different kinds and feed them all great food.

    Single best post headline of yours I've read. Two world nicely merged. Goes beyond cooking = lovely. And those burble flowers are a nice touch.

    1. Burble flowers given by single friend too. But I don't think I need to juggle them. Ever. They overlap just fine for me and I realise I am at peace with that. Maybe give the husband a bit more credit,

      And yes, maudlin r us. :)

  2. I so agree with you. I will forward to the link to your friend and lets see what she has to say. :)

  3. Oh my gosh... You've put that beautiful.. Im not sure about judging anyone.. above all.. I'm horrid in the kitchen so dont bother with friends.. and treating them to what I cook.. :)

    This sure looks yumm :) Thanks for coming to Colours Dekor today.. and totally making my day..

    1. :) Thanks patty, really enjoying reading your blog

  4. I love today's post, can so relate to it :) I have loads of single friends and a equal number of married friends. Each has carved a niche in my life and hopefully I have in their's. There is never a dull moment, plenty to discuss and share.
    Single / married / divorced.. friend is a friend; in the end nothing and no one can change that .. not even the loving doting husband!

    1. Totally, a friend's a friend no matter what their status is! I was trying to reason that out in my head and it's exactly what I thought :)

  5. Nicely written Ruchira. Absolutely, completely agree with your thoughts. Friends are friends, no matter their relationship status or ours.


  6. Absolutely yummy